Chavaneth

Ethan is exactly who he is supposed to be

Popsicle Time

You know the old saying "If you have a sick kid and you're at your wit's end, another one will get sick, and just as you think you have that under control, a THIRD kid will get sick."
No? You've never heard it? Well I have. I've lived it. When I say "sick" - I'm talking Ethan not speaking for hours at a time and Vanessa only wanting to sit in my lap and Chad not seeing Maggie for several days. It's been a rough week to say the least. But everyone is on the mend and Vanessa was in the mood to make some Popsicles. She sent Stephanie a text and Stephanie thought that was a great idea and sent Steve right over!
Vanessa and I took pictures along the way so you can make some GET WELL popsicles too :-) The instructions are under each picture!

Drain a 10oz jar of maraschino cherries (save juice) Put on cherry in each of 8 3oz Dixie cups.

Coursely chop the remaining cherries

Pour one frz lemonade into the blender

Add 1/4 cup water

Pour the reserved cherry juice into the blender

Add chopped cherries

Blend until smooth

Fill up cups. Freeze several hours until slushy. Add popsicle sticks. Freeze several more hours. Peel off cups. ENJOY!!!
I found them a little more sour than fruity. I might only put in 2/3 of the lemonade and 1/2 cup of water next time, but that's up to you!

Thank you Steve and Stephanie for the supplies! Thank you Vanessa for some wonderful picture taking :-)

TAKE ACTION

I CAN FIX IT 5 of 5
A "Now Art" Project by damali ayo

Two-thousand people were asked the 5 things individuals can do to end racism. Here are the solutions in their own words.

TAKE ACTION
Don't just talk about it. Be about it. Make an action plan. Include the following:

Consider racism your problem to solve.

Always confront racism, ignorance and innapropriate behavior/language when you see, hear, read or experience it. If someone says something racist don't laugh awkwardly or ignore it. Use the power of your voice. Interrupt/address racism no matter how uncomfortable it makes you, no matter who you are required to confront. Do not make exceptions for you family, your friends, or in the workplace because you fear the consequences. When speaking out against racism, be gentle but firm. Practice civility but also directness. Set the person straight. White people are more likely to listen to you than to the person they are offending. Leave the over-nicess at home. Being overly-nice only make a safe atmosphere for racism and an unsafe atmosphere for other (particularly people of color) to confront it head on.

Challenge white people to talk about racism. Learning "what not to say" is not the point. Understanding how racism works and how it can be dismantled is the point. Help fellow white people to learn not just react.

Be a visible person in the fight against racism.

In the media:

When a racist incident occurs in the public eye, write a letter to the editor of the local paper condemning the behavior. Identify yourself as a white person in your letter.

At work:

Whatever your place of profession, eliminate institutionalized practices that are discriminatory towards people of color or rewarding white privilege. Hire, retain and promote people of color. Maintain a wide range of employees.

In the community:

Become involved in an organization that is involved with communities of color, like a church, a school, a non-profit, a business or a reading group. Make your involvement more than financial. Involve your time, energy, participation and emotional connection. Stay committed to this organization for at least three years.

With your kids:

Since people often live in the mostly segregated part of any city/town, send your kids to public schools if they live in a city, and demand that students of color are recruited into the advanced/honors/AP classes. Integrate the books and toys in yoru children's school, and at home. Demand teacher of color for the sake of your kids not just for the kids of color. Promote that a racially integrated educational environment is the best for white kids as well as for kids of color. Fight for equal education for kids of all races. Expose movements that subtly privilege white children over children of color.

....Sammi's Comments....

This is the most difficult for me on a lot of different levels. I have a hard time standing up to people at work and to family members.

I also have trouble knowing when to step in at school. I want to help my kids but I don't want to embarrass them or teach them that I will always take care of it.

Believe it or not - right now we are having the most difficulty with Chad at school. Most kids don't know his brother and sister are black so they feel free to relate to him as they would other white friends - and say things that they would never say in front of a person of color. Chad is VERY good at standing against racism but I know it's hard for him too, being in a time in life when he is trying to make friends, not fight with them.

BROADEN YOUR EXPERIENCE

I CAN FIX IT 4 of 5

A "Now Art" Project by damali ayo

Two-thousand people were asked the 5 things individuals can do to end racism. Here are the solutions in their own words.

BROADEN YOUR EXPERIENCE

Caution: Please don't do this until you have SUCCESSFULLY completed steps 1-3

The obvious and simple.

Learn about other cultures, not by asking questions, but by spending time with people (without interrogating them). Hold a door for, or do some small un-returnable kindness for a person of color. Smile at someone who is not white. Stop expecting things in return.

Get out there.

Put yourself into environments predominantly attended by people of color, where you are likely to get to know more people of color. Whether it's a professional organization, local political/cultural event, a community group or church, a friend's birthday party, an art event, whatever. Go alone. Don't bring your comforting posse, or some friend to share or analyze your exotic experience with. Do not treat this as an exotic experience. See it as living in the real world instead of the limited world you now live in. Observe without photos mental or actual. Don't act like a tourist. Don't stay 'till it is cleanup time. Don't take more than you give.

Donate and volunteer with racial justice groups that will put you in situations where you are the racial minority. Don't then brag about the experience and say you know what it's like to be "a minority" or a person of color. Never use the phrase "reverse racism" since there is no such thing.

Make a commitment to participate in and develop an in-depth appreciation of an activity that helps you shift your awareness into cultures of color from a mind-body perspective (music, food, dance, language philosophy). Engage in something that helps you to develop a new vocabulary with which to relate to people.

Don't just talk about it. Be about it. Make an action plan. Include the following:

Consider racism your problem to solve.

Be a visible person in the fight against racism.

In the media:

When a racist incident occurs in the public eye, write a letter to the editor of the local paper condemning the behavior. Identify yourself as a white person in your letter.

At work:

In the community:

With your kids:

This is the most difficult for me on a lot of different levels. I have a hard time standing up to people at work and to family members.

I also have trouble knowing when to step in at school. I want to help my kids but I don't want to embarrass them or teach them that I will always take care of it.

EDUCATE YOURSELF

I CAN FIX IT - 3 of 5

A "Now Art" Project by damali ayo

Two-thousand people were asked the 5 things individuals can do to end racism. Here are the solutions in their own words.

Seriously, read a book or get on the net.

Plan it out.

Make a list of questions you have about other races/cultural groups. Find the answers to your questions without asking any people of color to help you.

Realize that for the most part white people don't have to care about or think about what it's like to be a person of color. Take 5 minutes to consider what it's like to be non-white, for 5 minute choose to care about it. Read 5 novels by people of color. Go to 5 films which are made by people of color. Buy a magazine oriented toward people who are not white. What's it like to look through a magazine where 80% or more of the people are of color? How does the content differ - if at all? Genuinely explore a piece of artwork by a person of color.

Do it right.

Fight the urge to immediately tell a person of color that you have done the above, that's just weird.

Learn about people of color because they are a part of your country and society, not because they are "exotic". Do not view people of color as "different" as if white people are the "norm". Actively work against institutionalizing whiteness as the norm. Do not refer to people of color as "diverse peoples", that is racist and grammatically incorrect.

Study the differences between racism, prejudice, and discrimination.

Educate yourself about the history of race and racism in the United States. Learn about the economic basis and effects of racism, and the institutional powers that perpetuate racism. Actively seek out the perspectives and insights of those who are doing "the heavy lifting" with regards to fighting (eliminating) racism. Find scholars who work on this subject instead of turning your friends of color or strangers of color into your personal educational system. If you have questions after you have done some reading, read more.

A new method.

Stop allowing yourself to be brainwashed into believing stereotypes. Acknowledge and examine our society's stereotypes about people of color. Assume you've been influenced by them. What are they. Make a list. Know what you are working to change.

Don't assume everyone is either a person of color, or a white person.

Change your thinking. Turn things around. Instead of asking why all the kids of color are sitting together in the lunchroom, ask why all of the white kids are sitting together. Instead of asking why something is all black, ask why something is all white. Instead of wondering why no people of color attend and event or join a group, ask why the group only attracts white people.

Stop asking people of color about their hair. Realize this is a larger metaphor for treating people with respect and learning on your own. Don't use your learning process as an excuse for rude behavior.

Deepen your understanding by using the pyramid of culture. At the top, is surface stuff like dance, food, dress, etc. At the bottom are all of the deeper issues such as cultural history. Many persons not of that culture only get involved at the top.

Teach your children, and allow them to teach you. Be willing to be uncomfortable. Allow your brain to hurt. Understand that race and racism present complexities and contradictions. Do not try to reduce or simplify.

Suggested reading: Teach Learning Anti-Racism by Lousie Derman Spark and Carol Phillips

What if all the Children Are White by Nieto, Darder, Paley

White Awareness by Judy Katz

Why are all the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria? by Beverly Tatum

Uprooting Racism by Paul Kivel

....Sammi's comments......

This is a big step. It's hard work but I believe it reaps the most benefits. A big part of racism is ignorance. And once we are educated, we can take steps toward understanding.

As always, discussion is encouraged!

Jenks vs BTW 3-0

Chad's first soccer game went really well. My friend, Stephanie came to the field with her new camera and took over 300 pictures. I am going thru them one by one :-) But I thought you would like to see a couple now! :-)

Chad had a lot of fans at the game but no one as proud as his mama!

LISTEN

I CAN FIX IT Post 2 of 5

A "Now Art" Project by damali ayo

Two-thousand people were asked the 5 things individuals can do to end racism. Here are the solutions in their own words.

"I've found that really listening to people of color and believing their experience is eye-opening"

Shut up, already.

Listen to a person of color. No really, just listen. When a person of color is sharing their experience, resist any urge to jump in and minimize or excuse their feelings. Don't make it about you or what you are feeling in reaction to them. Don't talk too much or say predictable stupid nervous things, just listen. Don't try to fix that person or change their mind. Don't cry. It's not about you.

Understand that when a person of color talks to you about racism, they are trusting you. Treat that trust with the utmost respect.

Honor Experience.

Remember that people of color are sharing their true experiences not merely voicing an opinion. Understand that experience trumps opinion. Remember that people of color have experience with racism that you will never have, but don't use this as an excuse for asking "stupid questions" or not educating yourself.

When a person of color tells you or another white person that something he or she has said is offensive, don't get defensive. If you find yourself getting defensive, listen to what that person is saying and try to change your way of thinking.

Consider racism to be a form of violence or abuse.

Honor outrage.

"If you're not outraged, you're not paying attention"

When white people mislabel outrage as anger it scares other white people away from doing the work and gives ammunition to racists.

Remember that talking about things or speaking out and being heard is a good way for people to heal from trauma. Don't punish, dismiss, or demean any emotion that people of color express in response to racism. Don't tell people of color that their outrage will scare white people or make people stop listening. Don't' tell people of color that they should educate white people or be gentle. Do not silence or stifle the voices of people of color.

Don't impose.

Thing about what you say to people before you say it.

Don't impose your view on people of color.

Don't blame people of color for racism.

Let people of color choose what they want to talk about. Don't make every conversation with a person of color all about what you want to share or what you want to learn about. Don't bring up racism just because you are talking to a person of color.

If you do have a racial consciousness, don't be self-righteous about it. Don't brag. Seek to always deepen your understanding instead of striving to get to a "finished" place.

ADMIT IT

I CAN FIX IT - 1 of 5

A "Now Art" Project by damali ayo

Two-thousand people were asked the 5 things individuals can do to end racism. Here are the solutions in their own words.

PART 1: WHITE PEOPLE

Do you want to change racism in the world? Guess what? You have to start with yourself! Cause you know what? If you're not part of the solution, you are part of the problem.

Here are five easy things you can do staring right now (and continuing the rest of your life)

1. Admit It.

2. Listen.

3. Educate Yourself.

4. Broaden Your Experience.

5. Take Action.

______________________________________________________________

1. ADMIT IT

The first step is admitting you have a race.

Be white.

Acknowledge that white is a color and a race. Learn how to say "white people". Don't play dumb. Don't say, "I don't know what to say, do, think" or "I don't really have a race." Resist feelings of hopelessness and self pity. Do not invent white suffering. Lose the drama.

Admit that racism exists.

Understand that it's not all about slavery, that there have been many institutionalized racist practices in the history and present of the United States. Understand that all white people reap tremendous benefits from the legacy of slavery, segregation and the continuing effects of the racism it helped create. All white people benefit even if they were not alive during the time of US slavery or if their ancestors immigrated to this country after the Civil War.

Acknowledge that a very real present-day racism arose from social and institutionalized racist practices/laws of the past. Notice where those practices continue, and where you participate in them.

Take Notice.

Observe how others are treated. When you walk into a room, bar, club, whatever notice the racial breakdown in the crowd. Getting in the habit of noticing who is around you (and who isn't arund you) is easy and promotes general awareness.

See white people. If you are going to identify a person by their race, make sure you identify all people by their race. That means saying "I saw this white man". Don't let white be the default race. Spend a week identifying white people by their race, see how it affects you.

Stop thinking of your opinions as objective or "the right way". Instead acknowledge your perspective as coming from a white experience. Realize that people of color may see things differently than you for good reasons.

Understand that reverse racism is an impossibility.

Reflect on the prejudices you grew up with, and then get over them.

...Sammi's Comments...

I just brought up 'reverse racism' not existing a couple of weeks ago to my workshop group. A woman had been treated unfairly by a musical group that was all black because she was the only white musician. They were rude and made her feel very uncomfortable. She called it reverse racism. The reason why it wasn't reverse racism was because people of color don't have the power. They can be prejudice or even hate someone because of race - but it isn't racism. There is a very distinct difference.

I am open to a discussion in the comments if someone want to have it - as long as everyone is respectful! :)

I CAN FIX IT

I've always been pretty closed-minded when it came to racism. I've maybe heard 3 or 4 racists jokes my whole life because people around me knew better. I can be pretty vocal and stubborn. Then I had these two black babies. They are 1/2 white and they call themselves "mixed" but in the world, at school, at the mall, in the mirror, they identify as black - and people around them call them black.

As a white person I was born into privilege. Not the kind of privilege that comes with money or power or being male. A different kind. One a lot of us take for granted. I'm actually taking a 10 month workshop at the Y right now to learn about white privilege and the role it plays in racism (it's huge!)

So even though I've always done little things to fight racism - I never understood. I never GOT IT. Honestly, it's almost impossible to understand unless you really fight hard.

Recently there was an incident with a few friends who I thought were close. It has really rattled me because I had assumed some things about this group of friends and their understanding of racism that wasn't really true.

I mentioned a comment a mutual friend made that I thought to be very inconsiderate at best and possibly racist. They disagreed. When I tried to explain I heard things like "you are so angry", and "maybe you just expect racism so you see it more", and "you should turn rude/racist comments into a positive for your kids", and "well it wasn't INTENDED to be racist so you should be more understanding".

So this is my platform. A co-worker received a booklet from a friend since it is Black History Month and it lists 5 things white people can do to stop racism.

It is one of the most compelling - action oriented - pieces of work on irradicating racism I've read. So I'm going to share it with you.

The first thing you should know is that I believe it is the responsibility of WHITE PEOPLE to stop racism. Period. Not everyone believes that, and this pamphlet also has 5 things black people can do to help stop racism. I will post those too for my readers of color. But it does make me nervous because I think one of the top 3 reasons racism is still so strong - is because white people sit back and wait for black people to DO something to stop it. And by posting 5 things black people can do - only reinforces their theory. Although I positive things can come from the second list - I just don't want that to be a reason for white people to not actively do their 5!

Does that make sense?

And the second thing - racism knows no bounds. Racism against hispanics is at an all time disgusting high right now. These five things apply to all races. But my experience is with racism against blacks because my kids are black. And I also believe there is racism against people of color, and then racism against black people and it's different.

So for the next 5 days I will post one thing white people can do to help stop racism. And I am not one of those "if I can only reach one person I will be happy" kind of people. Not even close.

I hope this opens up an honest dialogue that leads to action from everyone it reaches.

See you tomorrow.

Day 6

Icey Chad
Originally uploaded by Chavaneth

Really it's been longer than that - but today is the 6th day of no school here in Jenks America. The kids are having a great time. A LOT of sledding and snow ball fights. I would have thought they would be sick of it by now - but everyday is just as exciting as the day before :-)
The kids are soooo lucky because this year for Christmas, their great-grandma from California bought them each a snow suit :-) And their grammi in Bartlesville bought them each a sled! Wow - little did we know they would get to use all of that more than once this year! :-)
More snow is on it's way tonight! yea!!! :-)

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